IS FORGIVING REQUIRED ?

 I will never forget the actress Uma Thurman  and the look in her eyes as she sought to implement another plan in her quest for vengeance. The movie Kill Bill and Kill Bill Volume 2 dealt with a young bride who's wedding was sabotaged by assassins and then the saga began of her quest for vengeance. Through two entire movies she wreaks an inexplicable vengeance on those she felt that had hurt her until she ultimately kills the one she truly loved, that being Bill himself.

What drives a human being to such hatred and vengeance? What sort of pain does it take to be the catalyst that sends a person over the edge into the abyss of harming another human? I once had breakfast with an Army Officer who was in Vietnam and part of Army Intelligence while stationed in Southeast Asia during the war. It so happened he actually had a degree in Psychology. One of my questions while eating breakfast that day in Tucson, Arizona at Big Bob's with the Major was this " Why have so many men and women come back from Vietnam with emotional issues and those that came back from Germany after WWII did not have?" No, I am not saying that none of the men and women that came back from Europe had problems. I am not saying that all, because some did, but most that came back from Vietnam had some very serious isses that quite a few to this day have not recovered from.

The Major explained it this way to me. If you are watching television at night in the living room of your home and a bad guy kicks the front door in and invades your sanctuary, you have two types of permission to defend your home or yourself, to the point of killing the bad guy if necessary. The permission is psychological in terms of your protecting your family, then you also have legal permission to protect your home and family. For a normal, sane and rational human being to take the life of another with few emotional repercussions, that person needs permission either morally and or legally to do so. I won't go into a long diatribe here because this topic is not the topic, but it leads me to where I am going. The bottom line was that Americas distaste for the Vietnam War did quite a bit of damage to our troops serving. They came home and felt like they were not given permission to do what they had to do. Where in WWII, there was clear cut evil that had to be stopped, not to mention the fact that Japan had attacked us first. The young men and women who went off to war emotionally felt as though they had permission to do what they did, now they could live with themselves and even be proud of what they had done.

You ask any Police Officer when are they most nervous in the line of duty? Hands down, most will say When I go to a domestic dispute call. This is because the emotions are running so high. There have been many, many cases where the husband has very obviously abused his wife. She is standing in the room with a black eye, bloody lip and a cut cheek. The Officer steps in to arrest the husband for assault and the wife will attack the Officer for trying to haul her abusive husband off to jail for the night.

What drives us as humans to take such drastic actions? Why do we seek vengeance and retribution? Is it our pride? Is it our ego? Is it the fact that we have been humiliated? The bride from the movie had obviously been scorned hideously and left for dead. What about the young man who is molested by a Priest? What about the wife of 20 years of devotion to her husband that finds that slip of paper with another women's phone number in the pocket of his jeans when she is doing laundry? What about that child such as me who suffered for so many years at the hands of an abusive alcoholic step-father? What about and the list goes on and on. What am I suppose to do? How long do I harbor anger from my crushed ego and pride in my heart? How long should that wife grieve because of her husbands transgressions?

We are all individuals. We all have different personalities and I am not going to scold you or school you on what is the time frame you should seek for holding onto that anger or frustration. I will say this to you. The longer you hold onto it, the less time you have to be happy again. Everyday that you hold onto that anger is one less day of happiness you have on planet earth. Anger and resentment eat you from the inside out. Most will have elevated blood pressures, stomach acid problems, develop nervous disorders from the trauma and the medical list goes on. STRESS KILLS folks. The longer you hold that anger and resentment inside of you, the higher your stress level goes. The longer you hold that rage, the more prone you are to acting on it and getting yourself into serious trouble, not just physically, but legally also.

My suggestion is "GET RID OF IT ". Get rid of it now! I wrote a hub piece the other day on this topic but in a different format so to speak. The result of that one was that you are hurting nobody but yourself and I meant that. Now for my argument on getting rid of it and why. AS I said, nobody is being harmed but you for holding onto that rage and anger. If you run out right now and pull a gun on that person that harmed you and shoot, he or she might be dead, but your false pride just landed you in prison for life or worse yet a needle in your arm while the Warden says "do you have any last words"? If you truly want revenge against someone else, the best way to do that is to let them see you filled with joy and at peace in your life. And you are much, much happier by handling that way.

Biblical speaking and I bring the Bible into it because it is a wonderful blueprint for handling life and all of it's trials and tribulations that we face daily. I am not saying this to be disrespectful to the Lord or God, because I am a Christian, but I am saying this to those that are not believers. Throw God out of the Bible, or take Jesus out from the context of being God's son. You still have an incredible blueprint for leading your life in a peaceful, placid and happy manner. Take out all the miracles, the parting of the sea, the big boat with all the animals or any other Godly miracles, just read it for the purpose of wisdom and to deal with life's challenges and you still have the perfect psychological book on how to handle your life. It teaches finances, it teaches parenting and how to be the perfect child. But that is another subject. For those of you that do believe in God or the Lord, here goes.

In the book of Ephesians 4 beginning at verse 31, the Apostle Paul writes "get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you ". This was said during an entire section on "Displaying a new Nature" and Paul was instructing us on how to live in peace and displaying our Christian qualities. He instructs on "not letting the sun go down on anger" and the list of instructions go on. The fact is this. God, nor Jesus want us to be unhappy. Harboring anger allows for Satan to enter our lives and cause us to turn away from God and in the end whom does it hurt? Anger and Rage are one of Satans perfect weapons to harm us.

In Mathew 18 verse 21, Peter asked Jesus " how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times ?  The Lord Jesus responds with " NO" seventy times seven ! He does not go into why in this chapter but does so sporadically throughout the Gospels, but the bottom line is, it is a sin to harbor rage and anger.

In my other piece I go into how to get of it and I will do so again....This is what worked for me. I will again describe it for the Christians, and for those of you that are not, "want to know if God is real" ?Try this !   Christians: It is now time to trust God. Let him keep his promise to you. Do what he asked you to do, that being allow him to take the pain and rage away. He will, because your praying for your enemy as he asked you to do. For those of you that are not, try it, you might be surprised at the result and when it has worked, remember all those times you laughed and made a joke about God. HE JUST PROVED TO YOU HE IS REAL, YOU MIGHT WANT TO BEGIN BELIEVING!

Every night for the next 30 days, get on your knees and say this prayer. God please bless (insert name here) with health, happiness and prosperity!   That is it. Do it ! God wants you to trust him, trust that he will do what he says he would do. He will take the pain, rage, anger and resentment away. He knows you hate the person that harmed you and you are NOT lying to him by praying for that person. You are obeying Jesus command that you pray for your enemy. He will take care of the rest. You just do what he asked you to do. Nothing more, nothing less. Pray for that Priest, pray for your husband who you just found out had an affair, pray for that parent that hurt you so badly, pray for your enemy. Do what the Lord asked you to do and it will change your life, it did mine and it will change yours for you.

I PROMISE !  Stop by and visit at Facebook. The Raised in Hell Series now has a page. Join, become a fan. Hope to see you all soon. Ken Crow      (feel free to email questions, gripes, concerns or just to say hello) I am here to help, and I would love to answer questions. God Bless.